by Thursday at 12:56 pm•
Quit acting like you did something amazing by plunking out a litter of little shitbag clones. You’re not going to like this, but having kids is not an achievement, it’s a biological function. Fucking and then having a child is no more of an achievement than eating a bowl of chili and ripping a gnarly fart later. Shame on you for bringing more people into this already over-populated world and thus burning up more natural resources at an even faster rate, you irresponsible, self-centered, egotistical waterhead. I realize that when your kids do something truly disgusting and embarrassing, you have to tell yourself that “the rewards outweigh the cost,” but we both know that’s a load of shit that you tell yourself to stave off the thoughts of how your life is no longer yours, and how you have no more identity beyond that of "parent." By your account, all childless adults are wasting our lives by seeing this world, spending our time in dive bars while drinking away our sorrows. I doubt that is the case for most of us. Little kids are generally pieces of shit until they are taught and conditioned to be good people. Also, there are already 5-6 billion more people on this planet than should be, so thanks for adding to that. Those “deep belly laughs” are all you have, because you obviously lack the imagination and cognitive reasoning necessary to experience the world in more interesting, and satisfying context. So by all means, please continue to churn out more meat for the armies of the world, and more bodies to drain our already dwindling resources while making gross generalizations about shit you couldn’t possibly comprehend.