by Thursday at 6:51 pm•
Very tired today. New phone. New shoes. New backpack. God damn new to me car still won't work. Behind on paperwork. Neck hurts. Extra depressed about the things and stuff.
I'll be one of the few that gets through it. I could have done more. Someday I'll learn to live in a positive helpful way, but in the meantime the isolation hurts.
I think about freaky friday scenarios gone wrong. I switch bodies with my best friend. She's stuck with the kids. Husband's out a lot. It gets old, but he's fun and a good listener. I'd look dumb trying to adjust.
Too long in my body and she'll come back to me, "I can't get a job or an apartment and I'm afraid to say my name out loud." I tell her - if they don't let you in the front door, just go through the side. Keep trying.
It's upsetting to say and worse to hear.
In a few versions of the story she dies in my body. Awful. Could be worse. It could always be worse.
I fly my spaceship alone.