The Portland Mercury's Reader Valentines

Did you receive a 2022 Mercury valentine? Browse or search for your valentine below!

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Happy valentines to my favorite fellow member of the potato club! Xoxo meowllory


Don’t know how we got so lucky in this lifetime, but here we are. Valentine year number 9! Thank you for keeping it weird with me❤️‍🔥


You’re an amazing and beautiful woman. Thank you for your encouragement and support. You make me a better person. I love you. Yours. Always.


You are the gravy to my potatoes, the frosting to my cupcake, the chicken to my enchilada. You are the love of my life. Happy V Day to my hot Husband!

Sweet Sox

I love you my darling, and I am so happy that we’re going to be parents soon. I love you to the moon and back.


I love you so much I’d take a pickle back shot for you, which is the same as taking a bullet. Vals and sushi tonight?

Sexy Shit

You said, “We’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other”, after I lost my mind for a day. That is some sexy shit. Crosswords in bed for life!


Even though we will be celebrating in two different countries on two different continents. My love crosses the ocean. Happy Valentines Day Baby.


On our 5th V day, I just have one question? Still up for awkward?


Looking forward to our next adventure-If I’m falling asleep with you by my side, it will be okay. Thanks for making me laugh. PS I love your dick.


Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you more than the 150 character limit can ever know! You are amazing & brilliant! I cannot wait to see you

Devil D

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, but I’m super into you Call me maybe...?


Happy Valentines Day! Here’s to many more violent and adult themed episodes of Altered Carbon and life sized teddy bear destuffings.


I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing. I know things have been tough lately, but I love you more than I ever have. I love you so - M


It has been good hanging out, and while I am still smitten, platonic works. You are an incredible person, and I am happy to call you a friend.

Care Bear

I miss you when you’re not near me, I need your touch, your lips, your smell, your presence near me.

Zaddy Long Legs

Steph, you're the sunshine of my life & I'm so grateful for you. Here's to you, here's to us, here's to our first v-day together & many more to come.


Don’t know how we got so lucky in this lifetime, but here we are. Valentine year number 9! Thank you for keeping it weird with me❤️‍🔥


Who knew 26 years latter you would be 👅 my ass and loving 🥰 it! Can’t wait to see what what this adventure brings next. 💋💋💋 Farina Johnson


You make a girl want to change parties. Never would’ve guessed your dick down would make me wanna follow you to a hoe down. Keep bossin’ up. ❤️ C.S.


You’re the best banana in the whole bunch. Don’t tell the rest of the fam! Love you!


Let me seduce you my pretty I’ll gent-ally lick your left titty You’ll even the ratio With expert fellatio Then letting me stuff your moist kitty


Meet me at Tarboush so we can discuss the latest episode of Ted Lasso. And yes, I will bring the kid (but not her iPad).


There's nobody I'd rather survive a pandemic with than you. Thanks for keeping us all HH&S. I love you! <3 Mimi

L & T

Every day, not just today, you both are my everything~ my heart, life, breath. We got this, we do. Rainbows will be revealed after all the storms. ~Me


Oh with you, I'd travel thick And with you, I'd also travel thin And all the spaces in between I'd travel with you, you're my sweet one - Lil B


Almost 6 years together and your kisses still make me Swoon. Will you be my forever Valentine? Your forever little Spoon (who loves you to the moon.)

Lady Starbuck

Love’s lusty companion has bitten With you and your body I’m smitten I’ll nosh on your teacakes To cultivate cumquakes And hungrily lap at your kit’n


My heart is full of love for you. You are talented, giving, and true. And, my daughter, beautiful too. Happy Valentine’s Day and every day. Mama


It is in his walk, the carriage of his neck, the flex of his waist and knees...To see him pass conveys as much as the best poem, perhaps more...


We love you so much! Love the Ninja Turtles

Mis Ojitos De Miel

Te quiero mi fundillo apestoso. No one else I’d rather have laid up with me and fart non stop nonetheless spend my time with. Te adoro amor mío<3


Let me s’juice ya m’pretty I’ll gen2-li lick yer left titi U’ll even the ratio W/€xpert £ellatio ‘for letn’ me stuff yer moist kiiti


We are sailing through time. Your sweet love is guiding our way. It is a fun adventure with you. Looking forward to where the tide will take us next.


Dear One, you will always be my Valentine. Thank you for choosing me. The best thing that ever happened to me was YOU. Stay cute


I love you & think of you often. No one will ever shine like you. I'll keep an eye out for you on the path. Miss you -Love Missy

Cape Disappointment

Rescue me from boredom. Rescue me from withering guilt. I can't forget you. Give me the taste of gated fruit. Lemme taste your nectarine. -Sweats


We’ve had so many adventures together, and we’ve got many more in our future! I love you! ❤️ A + 🐶🐶


I love you baby. Almost 5 years together. Juan, Timmy, our girl spenny and of course me....can't live without you. Always and forever Love Lisa Marie.

Jeffrey TheVelcroDog

Jeffrey Jeffstofferson you are the only one that I want to be near. Jeffrey Jeffstofferson this is your home now and you have nothing to fear.


Well my poopsie is so whoopsie, but also really sweet, she walks around with a smile on her face and she dances to the beat. Talkin' bout my poopsie!

Matty B

I’m stoked on you! May the sexy times never end my love!

Gangsta Boogie

Seems like the longer this relationship has been going the better it gets. Love u so muchy!


Keep an eye on her, she’s still the love of my life too.


Like clockwork it the Mercury Valentine. As steady as my love for you + a dopamine hit when you read it like I get every time you walk into the room.

Little Animal

The school dads are probably jerking it hard over your ass, but I'm the only one who knows how to handle it. Looking forward to more fucking. -HBear

Meg the Magnificent

Thank you for the awesome pizza and escape room dates, but my basement bedroom is where I want you to be. You rattle me. I am at your service. ~j


Thanks for making me a decent woman this past year! Love you to pieces. xoxoxoxoxo Bumbum

goodmatch K

you're an absolute dream and the partner I've been waiting for. tiger tiger tiger


I love u so much! I made one of these b4 but had to cut it out 4 u as you didn’t live here yet. Now we’re married & have a home + cat 2gether. Sweet!


I love you even more than you hate Valentine's Day! Downloading snapchat was the best thing I ever did. Love you to the moon. xox Mad


It's been a wild ride and I just wanted to say I luh U. Your favorite pervertito

Sweetie pie

There are no sweeter pies than yours. Other sweetie pies may find pie eaters to live by but one sweetie pie is another's sweetie pie as amazing.


I grieve now that I fully understand...I wonder if you will. I'm sorry my anxiety hurt you. Robot love is forevermore, I'll love you forevermore. FTR

Neil the real deal

I married 4 luv, I choose u evryday. Keep ur wife fed, don’t end up dead. It’s a hot tub night, this is the way. Mmmm this is nice. Let’s get sushi.

Neil the real deal

I married 4 luv, I choose u evryday. Keep ur wife fed, don’t end up dead. It’s a hot tub night, this is the way. Mmmm this is nice. Let’s get sushi.


You're the bestest bestie of them all. I'd be (more) insane without you. I love you! CRONE COVEN 4EVA!


Cheru-Chan, F.O.D.

Jeremy S

This is our 20th V-Day together. The past few months have been really hard, but I love you more every day. Stay rad and sexy.


I love you like someone we know loves bleu cheese. I love you like someone else we know loves the color red. I'm gonna love you for a long, long time.



Mary W

My dove! I love you! I adore you! I cherish you! I'm so glad to have married you!

Zyah and Babe

God has truly shown out by blessing me with both of you. I will love you with my whole heart until the end of time - Love Mama


You are simply the best. Better than all the rest.


Bringing this tradition back! The 1st one was 19 years ago, if you can believe it. Love you more each year!

Lustrous Ladies

Some public acclaim for you all - thanks for being strong, imaginative, and thoughtful, up for anything - almost 5 years for some, welcome to newbies


How could a skanky old badger resist your searing dragon flames? At least I stay warm.


I've forgiven you for everything. We are supposed to be friends. I miss you every day. I remain hopeful to get my bff back.


I've forgiven you for everything. We are supposed to be friends. I miss you every day. I remain hopeful to get my bff back.


I know it's corny, but you are a-maize-ing! Happy Love Day! Love Buhbay, Lucy & Filbert

Sean Airport

LOVE YOU! in matching pants, or no pants, you're pretty sweet xoxoxo

BB Burritoz

Here's to a lifetime of dirty talk and drive-by humping. Thanks for getting me and letting me get you.


I love you and can’t wait to have your sexy baby wreck my vag so you can kiss it better


I hope that you get everything you want in life Sincerely, POT


You are everything to me. I feel lucky to be with you everyday! Will you be my Valentine? Melanie


There are none I would rather eat a heart shaped pizza with. You're it.


I love everything about you! Even your goofy little sasspants


I love you as much as Jimmy loves biting toes. Love, Claire


Meeerrrr! Good thing you're cute cause your butt stinks. ~MLPC~ Happy VD!

Lovely Holly,

Fourteen years of valentines, fifteenth coming soon. It’s unreal to love you more now then ever. I didn’t know my life would be an epic love story. Ty


You are effortlessly kind, full of compassion, and easy to love. I am forever grateful that you are in my life. I love you, Len


Mommy loves you more than anything in the world. You're my reason for everything. Always remember, baby- we were meant for each other. Happy VDay!

(supposed) Badger

Identity theft is not a joke, Millions of families suffer every year!


Dearest potato, Thank you for taking a chance on being known. Even if it freaks you out sometimes. Love, Your potato


You’re still the one. We fit together perfectly. When our heart & body energies collide it is absolute magic. I will love forever. You are my person.


You are my bestie! I love you bitch! We have a soul tie and I am happy we met!


Roses are red ….I forgot the rest. I love you, Sketti


No cart runs as smoothly without its third, squeaky wheel. I miss and love you both!!


I love you so much! So excited to be married and in our new house. My favorite place is snuggled on you. All the snatches with love, your wife S

Joe Mo

Another year, another Valentine. I’m truly the luckiest to spend every morning waking up next to you. You make my heart full.


What a zany, crazy 365 its been! Injuries, house plans gone awry, COVID! It's been wonderful to have you by my side through it all. LOVE YOU TONS!!!

Ranger Caitlin

Roses are red Violets are blue You’re the best park ranger Even though you sometimes step in human poo Who says romance is dead? Not me… Go Stars!

Joon Cat

Love you so much my sweets! Me and the boys wanted to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day! -B


I think you’re awesome and I think we are pretty awesome together. Let’s keep doing that. I love you let’s go out some time Benedict


You are the greatest of friends, the sexiest of lovers and the best travel companion anyone could ask for. You bring me so much joy and excitement.

Hot NAFO Love!

Ten years ago we celebrated our new marriage by skinny dipping in the Black Sea in Crimea, Ukraine. Let's do it again soon, when it is Ukraine again.

Tony Tony Tony

I’m so happy to have met an old man that loves me… I think. You make my days better and the sex is a plus. Keep it coming! I love you. Xo

Ajac Mighty Mouse

I love you with all my heart and all my farts. Can't wait to fart all over Spain with you!


I love you to the moon! Thank you for being the best Daddy this Babygirl could ever dream of.

Monk Love, gf

You are my best beach walk find, the audience to my antics, the heat in my fleece sheets and you are finally coming around to whipped cream on yogurt!